Return of the Game
by Serb
Summary: Sequel to 'Madness at times'. This is nuttier than the first one. Is Clarence really evil? Had Hermione traveled really too much in the past? Does Bertorelli really like his hat? Find out here!Read + Review!


Return of the Game  
  
Author's Note: Yes, this is a sequel to 'Madness at times'. This is more nuttier and crazier than the first one. Still, all my 'Allo 'allo stories are nutty. This one has guest stars Albus Dumbledore and Hermione Granger. Enjoy this story!  
  
  
  
It was a sunny day in Nouvion (again). The Café Rene was open, and this time Madam Edith didn't sing, to everyone's relief. Inside, there were the General, the Colonel, the Italian Captain, and the Lance Corporal. Now, as you see, one of them is missing: the Lieutenant. Your question will soon be answered. Into the square, comes in a familiar little tank. It parks in a place. The tank opens, and out of it comes out Lieutenant Gruber, wearing his yellow driving goggles. He looks around.  
  
'We parked really well, haven't we Clarence?' he asked, talking to someone who was inside the tank.  
  
'Of course we have Lieutenant,' said Clarence from the pit. His voice was scary: the voice of the murderer from the movie 'Scream 3'.  
  
'I didn't know you could speak! ' Exclaimed Gruber nervously, afraid of the voice, 'What deep voice you have, Clarence.'  
  
'You must see what big teeth I have! MUAHAHAHA!!!' laughed maniacally the deep voice from inside the tank.  
  
Gruber eyes grew wide and he jumped off the tank quickly. He landed on the pavement as the lid of the tank closed by itself behind him. The tank's gun pointed to Gruber.  
  
'So long Lieutenant!' roared gleefully the mystery madman from inside the tank.  
  
The Lieuenant screamed and ran into the café. The laughing tank followed him and stopped in front of the entrance.  
  
'I'm not moving from here until you come out!' Called out Clarence (Who was actually Voldemort in disguise, trying to take over the world in the past).  
  
'Give me the key Rene!' yelled Gruber, grabbing the key from Rene's confused hand and locked the door.  
  
'What is the matter Gruber?' asked the Colonel, who didn't notice how Clarence was bombing the street.  
  
'We can't get out of here!' said Helga with her clever ideas.  
  
So they sat, and they sat.  
  
'Oh, let's do something!' howled Colonel Von Strome.  
  
'Rene, tell us a game, not the same as the last one, but similar.' Ordered General Von Klinkerhoffen.  
  
Rene thought for a while. At last he came up with an idea.  
  
'This game will be the same: spinning the bottle, asking questions..but this time, if the person doesn't want to answer something, he will have to give something of his that the other person suggests.'  
  
'Alright, but you, Madam Edith, Mimi and Yvette will have to play with us like last time,' said General in his familiar words.  
  
They got around the table. Rene took an empty bottle of wine from drunk Monsieur LeClerk and placed it on the table. He spun it. It landed between Helga and Madam Edith.  
  
'Is married life wonderful, Madam Edith?' asked Helga.  
  
'Oh yes!' exclaimed Edith passionately, fluttering her eyelashes at Rene. Rene became green.  
  
Helga spun the bottle. It stopped between Rene and Gruber. Rene gulped. Gruber smiled in a way you wouldn't like.  
  
'Do you admire someone secretly, Rene?' asked Gruber, hinting something slyly.  
  
'I won't answer this question.' Rene answered, looking at the floor, wishing to hide.  
  
'Then for the dare: you will have to give me your beret cap.' Said Gruber.  
  
Rene breathed easily. At least he didn't give something big. He took of his cap and gave it to Gruber, who stored it into his pocket, with a big grin on his face. Rene spun the bottle hurriedly. It landed between Yvette and Bertorelli.  
  
'Whom did you kiss last time?' asked Yvette.  
  
Bertorelli grinned and was about to say, when the General and the Colonel looked at him threateningly. He sighed sadly.  
  
'I won't answer da question.' He stated glumly.  
  
'Then give me your feathered hat.' Said Yvette.  
  
But Bertorelli blew up angrily.  
  
'My hat?! MY HAT?! I will-a not give-a my beautiful hat away!' roared Bertorelli, making a scene, surprising everybody. That's why, my friends, Bertorelli carries his mysterious hat everywhere that smells of garlic.  
  
'I will-a answer the question! I have kissed last time da beautiful lady Helga.' He cried, while Helga buried her head in her hands in embarrassment.  
  
Yvette now unsure, spun the bottle. It landed between Mimi and the General.  
  
'Why are you so small?' asked the General.  
  
'I keep getting hit by the frying pan from Yvette.' She answered angrily.  
  
Yvette was about to answer something rude back, when suddenly, the was a huge purple puff of smoke in the middle of the room. When the smoke cleared away, in the middle stood a 13-year-old girl with black robes and a stick in her hand, which she called a wand. She had very, very bushy hair and teeth like a chipmunk.  
  
'Oh damn, that stupid Time Turner!' she scowled,' I went too much in the past!'  
  
Suddenly, beside her appeared an aging wizard with a long, long white beard, who wore glasses, and was smiling like an idiot, showing his brilliant white teeth.  
  
'Now, now Miss Granger,' he said,' I will take you back to the future.'  
  
Hermione looked happy.  
  
'Before we leave Headmaster, I have to admit that I was doing Animagi illegally.' She said seriously.  
  
'Well show me what you know.' Gently said Albus Dumbledore.  
  
Hermione pointed the wand at herself, whispered a spell, and in her place stood a miserable-looking very, very furry hamster. * You guessed it, I hate Hermione. *  
  
She changed herself back again to a girl.  
  
'Is that the best you can do?' asked Dumbledore, still smiling, 'Look at me.'  
  
In Dumbledore's place now stood a phoenix, which had a long, white beard and glasses. But it was horrible when the phoenix smiled, and showed off Dumbledore's brilliant, artificial, white teeth.  
  
'Ahhh!' screamed Hermione.  
  
'Its horrible!' yelled Gruber.  
  
'Kill it Rene! Kill it! Kill it!' cried the General.  
  
Rene took hurriedly an insect repellent, and sprayed it into Dumbledore's face. The Animagi choked and fell down dead. * But, I don't hate Hermione as much as I hate Dumbledore! *  
  
'Headmaster!' cried Hermione.  
  
The Headmaster said his last words: 'Ten points from Gryffindor! I drank too much Butterbeer.' With that, the Headmaster burped and died.  
  
Hermione turned the time turner and disappeared. Since then, the third Harry Potter book was called 'Harry Potter and the Mysterious Death of Dumbledore' instead of 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban'. (Sirius Black is forgotten. I never like him anyway.)  
  
Now, back to the 'present'.  
  
The others dismissed this scene and continued with their game.  
  
Mimi turned the bottle. It landed between Gruber and Helga.  
  
'Which country would you go to after the war?' asked Gruber.  
  
'I don't know, so I won't answer the question.' Helga answered.  
  
Gruber didn't expect this. What should he take? The General and Colonel were expecting something that someone gay wouldn't dare to take.  
  
'Erm, give me your suspender.' He said uncertainly.  
  
Helga took it off and gave to him quizzically. He hastily put it into his pocket, under the watchful eyes of the Colonel, General and Captain. The Captain and Colonel exchange for money on the bets that they had made behind the General's back. * As you see Gruber and Helga are my favorite pairings. I don't care what you think! I hate slash! *  
  
Gruber spun the bottle. It landed between Rene and Edith.  
  
'Will you marry someone else?' asked Rene hopefully.  
  
'Never! Because I have you my darling!' said Edith happily.  
  
'You don't have to rush.' He muttered.  
  
Suddenly, inside came Crabtree with a peasant woman, who was wearing dark glasses and a scarf around her head. It was actually Michelle in disguise who wanted to give a message to Rene.  
  
'How did you get in here with that maniac outside?' asked Gruber, bewildered.  
  
'Dat man told moo to sond you a massage.' Said Crabtree,' You should git out and foos him like a moon.'  
  
'Excuse me?' inquired Gruber.  
  
'You should get out and face him like a man.' Repeated Yvette.  
  
Gruber thought.  
  
'Rene, give me your strawberry ice-cream.' Ordered Gruber.  
  
Rene brought the ice cream. Gruber took it and marched outside.  
  
'You are playing a game? Let me play!' said excitedly Michelle.  
  
'She is my goorlfriend.' Explained Crabtree as they sat around the table.  
  
Rene spun the bottle. It stopped between Crabtree and Michelle.  
  
'Who do you love?' asked Officer Crabtree.  
  
'I love you Officer Crabtree!' said happily Michelle. * This scene is in the honor of Cheo, the one who reviewed my stories and loves Crabtree/ Michelle pairings *  
  
Crabtree spun the bottle dreamily. It stopped between Colonel and Bertorelli.  
  
'Did-a you ever cheat on your-a wife?' asked Bertorelli. Wrong qustion.  
  
'HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE HONOR OF A GERMAN OFFICER?' roared Colonel,' No, I didn't!' he lied.  
  
Bertorelli knew better than not to argue. Suddenly, inside came Lieutennant Gruber, all smeared with strawberry ice cream. He was breathing heavily.  
  
'The tank is filthy with ice cream!' he panted,' But not to worry, I have stopped the madman and the passageway is free.'  
  
'One more turn, please!' asked Bertorelli.  
  
'Oh, alright.' Agreed Gruber.  
  
The bottle was spun, and it landed from Helga to Gruber.  
  
'How did you stop Clarence?' she questioned curiously.  
  
'I filled the tank cannon with ice cream so he wouldn't shoot me,' he answered proudly,' then I climbed onto the tank and threw the ice cream into his face, took my gun, and arrested him.'  
  
'How brave!' commented Helga, impressed.  
  
Gruber just blushed.  
  
'We have to go now, Rene!' said the General, ' It was an excellent game though!'  
  
The Germans left the café.  
  
Michelle took off her disguise.  
  
'We have to steal the painting from Herr Flick's quarter's tonight!' she said.  
  
Rene groaned. Suddenly, in the café came a man with a black cloak covering his face. It reminds you of the movie 'The Shining' where Jack Nickolson as a madman says: 'Its Johnny!' in a creepy voice.  
  
'Its Clarence!' roared the figure, which laughed, and sprayed everyone with strawberry ice cream.  
  
THE END  
  
Author's Note: This story was really crazy, I know. Please Review. 


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